5 Everyday Actions to Support LGBTQ Coworkers
Each week, Karen Catlin shares five simple actions to create a more inclusive workplace and be a better ally.
Because June is Pride Month, a month to celebrate LGBTQ members of our communities, I decided to create a “best of” edition for today’s newsletter. Here are five ways you can take action as an ally for your LGBTQ coworkers, from some of our past newsletters.
1. Say “We don’t do that here” to promote an LGBTQ-friendly culture
A few years back, Aja Hammerly, a developer advocate at Google, wrote a blog post with the following story:
“The college I attended was small and very LGBT friendly. One day someone came to visit and used the word ‘gay’ as a pejorative, as was common in the early 2000s. A current student looked at the visitor and flatly said, ‘we don’t do that here.’ The guest started getting defensive and explaining that they weren’t homophobic and didn’t mean anything by it. The student replied, ‘I’m sure that’s true, but all you need to know is we don’t do that here.’ The interaction ended at that point, and everyone moved on to different topics. ‘We don’t do that here’ was a polite but firm way to educate the newcomer about our culture.”
Sounds like the perfect phrase to use in a workplace as well.
2. Use stock photos to promote the visibility of LGBTQ people in professional settings
Did you know that tech company Mapbox created “Queer in Tech,” a free collection of stock photos?
As they explained in their announcement:
“We created this photo set to promote the visibility of queer and gender-nonconforming (GNC) people in technology, who are often under-represented as workers powering the creative, technical, and business leadership of groundbreaking tech companies and products.”
There’s also “The Gender Spectrum Collection,” which is free for non-commercial purposes. Their recommended usage guidelines include:
“Images of trans and nonbinary people can be used to illustrate any topic, not just stories related directly to those communities. Consider accessing these photos for stories on topics like beauty, work, education, relationships, or wellness. Including transgender and non-binary people in stories not explicitly about gender identity paints a more accurate depiction of the world we live in today.”
Join me in bookmarking these sites for your future stock photography needs.
3. Say “sexual orientation” not “preference”
During US Supreme Court nomination hearings in October 2020, Senator Dianne Feinstein asked Judge Amy Coney Barrett about several issues, including same-sex marriage. Judge Barrett remarked,
“I have not ever discriminated on the basis of sexual preference, nor would I ever discriminate on the basis of sexual preference.”
In response, GLAAD (the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) tweeted:
“The correct term is sexual orientation. ‘Sexual preference’ is a term often used by anti-LGBTQ activists to imply that sexual orientation is a choice.”
Thank you, GLAAD.
4. Ask about someone’s “partner” or “spouse” instead of assuming gender
To make small talk with someone who’s wearing a wedding band, consider asking “How did you meet your partner?” As opposed to, “How did you meet him?” Or “How did you meet her?”
This suggestion comes from 11 Simple Ways You (Yes, You!) Can Make Your Workplace More LGBTQ Inclusive. The author interviewed an entertainment executive who shared,
“I am engaged. I wear a ring. When you want to know things like how we met, ask, ‘How did you meet your partner?’ as opposed to, ‘How did you meet him?’ I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been apologized to because of their assumptions about my non-existent husband.”
5. Apologize without making it all about yourself
In I Am Neither, Kathia Ramos writes about their experience of letting people know that their pronouns were now they/them. Their manager at the time was very understanding, yet mistakenly used their old pronouns. The first time wasn’t a big deal. She apologized and moved on. Then it happened again.
As Kathia shared, “I didn’t expect the apologizing to escalate to an explanation of how she was trying to use the correct pronoun. Time stood still while she apologized, and I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. What appeared to be an effort to make herself feel better, actually made me feel worse.”
Allies, if we use the wrong pronouns for a coworker, let’s briefly apologize and correct ourselves. Without launching into an explanation of how we’re trying to use the right pronouns or making it all about us.
That’s all for this week. I wish you strength and safety as we all move forward,
— Karen Catlin, Founder and Author of Better Allies®
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