Avoid the Trap of Perfectionism, and Other Actions for Allies

Each week, Karen Catlin shares five simple actions to create a more inclusive workplace and be a better ally.

1. Avoid the trap of perfectionism

In her book Dare to Lead, Brené Brown wrote:

“People are opting out of vital conversations about diversity and inclusivity because they fear looking wrong, saying something wrong, or being wrong. Choosing our own comfort over hard conversations is the epitome of privilege, and it corrodes trust and moves us away from meaningful and lasting change.”

As I’ve said many times before, we’re bound to make mistakes on the journey to be better allies. It’s uncharted, uncomfortable territory for many of us.

Yet we shouldn’t hold ourselves back, even though we may mess up. We need to take action to create more inclusive workplaces and cultures where everyone can do their best work and thrive.

I appreciate these uplifting words from Danielle Coke Balfour (a.k.a., Oh Happy Dani):

“5 things to remind yourself of after making a mistake:

I did the best I could with the information I had at the time.

Mistakes are natural bumps on the journey of being human.

Perfection is unattainable & a gruel standard to hold myself to.

My learnings will become a blueprint for future decisions.

This moment does not define me. I am more than my missteps.”

Allies, let’s steer clear of the trap of perfectionism and, instead, take action.

Share this action on LinkedIn, on Instagram, or on Threads.

2. Add a well-being notice to your signature

In a viral post on X/Twitter, @IGoBySteve wrote:

“Just got an after hours email from my new CEO and noticed he added this little disclaimer. You love to see it.”

He included a screenshot of the CEO’s signature that reads, “Well Being Notice: Receiving this email outside of normal working hours? Managing work and life responsibilities is unique for everyone. I have sent this email at a time that works for me. Please respond at a time that works for you.”

While we can use email scheduling to send messages during core business hours, we don’t always know what’s best for our coworkers. They might be in different time zones or working non-core hours that are best for them.

Consider adding a similar well-being message to your signature.

3. Be generous with your knowledge

Recently, the Dean of the Northeastern Silicon Valley Campus, Caroline Simard, reached out to seek input from industry leaders on their advice for new graduates. I was honored to be asked. Here’s what I told her:

To create workplaces where everyone can do their best work and thrive, we can all play a role and be better allies for historically marginalized, overlooked, or underestimated coworkers. It’s a powerful leadership trait for people early in their careers and those with more experience. As you graduate, one idea is to be generous with your knowledge and resources. Offer to make connections to your professional network. Share insider tips you’ve learned about being successful in your career. Say yes if you’re asked to be a mentor.

As the saying goes, knowledge shared is knowledge squared. Who will you share your knowledge with?

4. Address physical safety concerns

Deloitte recently released its 2024 Women @ Work report based on surveying 5000 women in workplaces across ten countries.

I was disappointed to learn that about the same number of women as last year have been subjected to microaggressions and harassment in the workplace over the past twelve months. And that only a small percentage believe they can report such behaviors without it negatively affecting their careers.

We still have work to do, my friends.

The report also raised women’s concern about physical safety. “Nearly half of women are concerned about their personal safety at work or when traveling to, from, or for work.”

It made me think about my conversation with a man named Charles during a panel discussion a few years ago.

Charles told me about boarding a flight to attend a conference and seeing a woman co-worker. After suggesting they share a ride from the airport to the conference hotel, Charles learned she was staying a few miles away because the conference venue was overbooked. He said sympathetically, “Oh, that’s too bad; you’ll have to spend more time on your expense report with all those additional taxi receipts.”

Extra paperwork? Turns out that was the least of her worries.

She told him that whenever she gets in a taxi or rideshare with a stranger, she worries about harassment. In the past, she’d had some “terrible, scary” experiences. Over the next few days, she’d have to run this risk every morning to get to the conference and every night to return to her hotel. During the trip, she’d be concerned about her safety in ways he’d never imagined.

As a result, Charles offered to swap hotels with her. He also committed to advocating for shuttle services between various hotels and prioritizing rooms for women at the conference hotel in the future.

Now it’s your turn. Consider reaching out to a woman co-worker and let them know you read the recent Deloitte report. Ask if they’ve felt unsafe at work and what would make them feel safe. Then, take action.

5. Community spotlight: Ask “What makes you say that?”

This week’s spotlight on an action someone has taken after reading my newsletter, hearing me speak, or reading one of my books comes from a university communications associate who sent me the following email:

“I’m very much a work in progress. Your vivid examples and personal humility have helped me avoid saying or doing things that harm my marginalized colleagues most of the time, and have given me useful tools (e.g., asking ‘What makes you say that?) that I increasingly remember to deploy when others say ignorant or intentionally harmful things.”

Their message made my day. 🙏

If you’ve taken action to be a better ally, please reply to this email and tell me about it. And mention if I can quote you by name or credit you anonymously in an upcoming newsletter.

That’s all for this week. I wish you strength and safety as we all move forward.

— Karen Catlin (she/her), author of the Better Allies® book series

Copyright © 2024 Karen Catlin. All rights reserved.

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