How Allies Can Give More Effective and Equitable Feedback

Each week, Karen Catlin shares five simple actions to create a more inclusive workplace and be a better ally.

Better Allies®
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Earlier this month, I reviewed some older editions of “5 Ally Actions” and found some gems about giving equitable and effective feedback. So, I decided to focus on feedback for today’s newsletter, republishing some older tips and some new ones. –Karen

1. Cultivate in-group belonging

In the Harvard Business Review article 6 Ways to Make Performance Reviews More Fair, Dr. Paola Cecchi-Dimeglio explored how the performance review process is more biased than people like to believe, with consequences that are harmful to employees and organizations alike.

To help de-bias the review process, Cecchi-Dimeglio offered several suggestions. Here’s just one: Cultivate in-group belonging before conducting performance reviews. She wrote,

“[A manager] might begin by discussing a work event where both participated, or by asking employees about some company ‘good news’ that affects everybody. These may seem like minor acts, but they can lead to important changes, because they can help to create an in-group and create some psychological certainty upon which the review can then be built. The result: Instead of focusing — consciously or unconsciously — on in-group affiliation, managers can focus more fairly on ideas and achievements. And if they regularly work in this way to identify common ground with employees throughout the year, in-group belonging can become a key element of company culture.”

I believe this foundation of belonging is critical for both formal performance reviews and peers giving informal feedback. After all, we’re more likely to listen to and act on feedback from someone if we trust that they have our back.

Are you looking for ways to cultivate more in-group belonging? Check out The Surprising Power of Simply Asking Coworkers How They’re Doing.

Share this everyday action on LinkedIn or retweet it.

(Thank you to the team at Aleria for sharing Cecchi-Dimeglio’s article in their weekly newsletter.)

2. Give feedback based on the business impact

A few years ago, I was coaching a group of women at a large tech company, leading a discussion on the importance of talking about the impact of our work. Many people, especially early in their careers, tend to identify a long list of accomplishments when writing annual self-appraisals or updating their resumes. As pointed out in research by Stanford’s Clayman Institute, a better approach is to tie work to the business outcome by describing the impact of all these tasks. For example, instead of “fixed forty bugs,” an engineer might write, “fixed all bugs blocking renewal sales of $5M.”

For the women I was coaching that day, this approach was novel — and, frankly, hard. Many didn’t know why their manager prioritized certain tasks over others. Many didn’t know the higher-level goals of their division. So, I encouraged them to ask their managers before our next meeting.

When we spoke about a month later, four of the fifteen women shared some striking news. Their managers could not answer questions about their projects’ business impact. And get this: Because those women didn’t want to handicap their career growth, they immediately applied for an internal transfer. They wanted to work for managers who could be better allies by talking about the impact of their work and giving them feedback about how to have an even more significant impact.

When giving feedback, let’s focus on the business impact of an employee’s work. What should they keep doing because it’s moving the business forward? What skills should they learn to have a larger impact?

3. Revisit professionalism

In Professionalism is a bias-making machine that needs to end. Here’s how to dismantle it., Business Insider editor Drake Baer wrote:

“Professionalism is, by its provenance, a legacy of elites. White men of a certain class created what we now know as corporate America, so the norms of that still majority culture are what everybody else must assimilate themselves to if they want to move up in the world. Such customs include speaking in a white American dialect, concealing tattoos or piercings, and wearing the right thing, whether that’s business suits or Patagonia vests. Yet research has shown that if a workplace culture pressures employees into conformity, workers are more exhausted, less engaged, less committed, and more likely to move on.”

This biased definition of professionalism extends beyond the corporate setting. For example, a recent study of medical schools found that faculty rated internal medicine residents from underrepresented racial and ethnic groups lower than white trainees on five of six core competencies. One notable theme? Professionalism.

One of the co-authors of the study, Dr. Sheri-Ann Burnett-Bowie, explained in an interview, “Professionalism can be used to tell people they are too loud, or too quiet, or that they need to dress or look a certain way.” She also shared, “Many Black residents report an uncomfortable focus on their hair and whether they can wear locks or twists.”

Fortunately, there’s support (in the United States at least) for banning hair discrimination in workplaces. In 2022, the American Medical Association adopted a policy against natural hair and cultural headwear discrimination. And the CROWN Act (Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair) passed in the U.S. House of Representatives and is now headed to the Senate.

Yet, professionalism is measured more broadly than hairstyles. It also includes such customs as speaking in a mainstream dialect, not having visible tattoos or piercings, following certain table manners, and wearing specific styles of clothes. All of which tend to be centered on whiteness and Westerness in white-majority countries.

Allies, let’s look for feedback about someone’s lack of professional semblance. Are they being judged simply because their appearance, clothing, hair, or speaking style differs from others? Does any of this impact their ability to do their job?

If the answer is “No” or “Not really,” speak up and suggest that the feedback be centered around impact, as I explored above.

4. Don’t soften feedback

In her book Radical Candor, Kim Scott explores why it may be harder for men to be radically candid with women. She writes, “Most men are trained from birth to be ‘gentler’ with women than with men. Sometimes this can be very bad for the women who work for them.” In other words, men might hold back from criticizing women employees because they’re afraid they might cry.

But that’s not all. As Lean In and McKinsey found, giving feedback to someone different from us can also be uncomfortable. Here’s why. We might be concerned they’ll think we hold prejudices against them because of their race, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, or educational background. To avoid this perception, we might soften the feedback.

Yet, constructive feedback helps people to grow in their careers. Allies, let’s not ease up to avoid hurt feelings or because we don’t want to come across as prejudiced.

5. Meet one-on-one with everyone on the team

During the 25 years I worked in the tech industry, my managers always held one-on-one meetings with me. Sometimes they were weekly, sometimes less frequent. Regardless, I relied on them to keep my manager informed, ask for advice, and get help removing roadblocks.

I also got plenty of positive reinforcement about the things I was doing well, along with constructive suggestions for how to get better. I’m not sure how I could have effectively done my job or grown in my career without the feedback I received in these meetings.

You know what else? I would have been angry if my manager had scheduled one-on-one meetings with others on my team, but not with me.

While that’s not something I have experienced, many have. In Being Black In Corporate America, the Center for Talent Innovation uncovered 14 specific microaggressions that Black employees experience at significantly higher rates than all other racial groups surveyed. One is, “My manager has met one-on-one with others on my team, but not with me.”

Don’t be that manager.

That’s all for now. I’m on vacation next week, so the next edition of “5 Ally Actions” will be in your inboxes on September 2. In the meantime, I wish you all the best as we move forward together on the journey to be better allies.

— Karen Catlin (she/her), Author of Better Allies®

Copyright © 2022 Karen Catlin. All rights reserved.

I wrote this article in what is now called Burlingame, California. It is on Ohlone territory.

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Everyday actions to create more inclusive, engaging workplaces: the Better Allies® approach from Karen Catlin.