Seize the Moment, and Other Actions for Allies

Each week, Karen Catlin shares five simple actions to create a more inclusive workplace and be a better ally.

Better Allies®
Code Like A Girl

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Yellow and white graphic reading: Ally Action. I seize the moment to share what I’ve learned. Them: Are these for the master bedroom? Me: Yes, but it’s called primary bedroom now. Them: right. I never understood why we stopped saying ‘master bedroom.‘ Me: It’s to be more inclusive since ‘master’ references a terrible part of our history when we had slavery. Them: Oh, that makes sense. @betterallies and betterallies.com.

1. Seize the moment

Last week, I spoke with a customer service agent at a company that sells window coverings, and I seized the moment to be a better ally. (Yes, it’s my life’s work, and I study and think about allyship all the time. But I must admit that I’m happy with every opportunity I get to do it in real life.)

Here’s what happened.

Agent: “Are these shades for your master bedroom?”
Me: “Yes, but it’s called a primary bedroom now.”
Agent: “Oh, right. I knew that, but I never understood why people stopped saying ‘master bedroom.’”
Me: “It’s to be more inclusive since the word ‘master’ references a terrible part of our history when we had slavery.”
Agent: “Oh, that makes sense.”

I hope you’ll seize the next opportunity that comes your way to share something you’ve learned about inclusive language or allyship in general.

Share this action on LinkedIn, on Instagram, or on Threads.

2. Minimize recruiting bias

In Taryn versus Taryn (she/her) versus Taryn (they/them): A Field Experiment on Pronoun Disclosure and Nonbinary Hiring Discrimination, economics PhD candidate Taryn Eames published her research that found discrimination against applicants who disclose “they/them” pronouns during the hiring process. She also found that this discrimination is approximately double in Republican than in Democratic geographies.

And earlier this week, the New York Times reported on research that found equally qualified applicants who were presumed to be white (on the basis of their names) were contacted 9.5% more often than those presumed to be Black.

To minimize bias in your recruiting process, consider these approaches from my book The Better Allies Approach to Hiring:

  • Create objective criteria for reviewing resumes. Choose the most critical requirements from the job description, and evaluate candidates based on those qualities, not their gender, age, pronouns, or other attributes that don’t equate to being able to do the work.
  • Redact unnecessary personal information. Resumes can include information you don’t need to evaluate, which might create bias, such as a candidate’s name, schools attended, and home address. Think about what you can strip from resumes or applications to reveal only what matters to your role.
  • Remind the interview team that bias can creep in. Here’s an approach that Google followed for removing bias from the selection process: give the hiring team a simple handout describing common errors and biases that assessors make, and how to fix them. Simply reminding people of these biases was enough to eliminate many of them. (If you use their checklist, I recommend adding something about pronoun bias to it.)

3. Support someone being misgendered

In a LinkedIn post, Alex Suggs, who identifies as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, wrote about being misgendered in and outside the workplace. They shared, “I’ve found that bystanders don’t always know how to step in and support me when they witness me being misgendered. They often give an awkward look because they are aware it has happened but they don’t know if they should correct the other person and they wonder if I even noticed. I can tell you, I always notice.”

Their advice? Simply ask, “How would you like me to step in and support you if I witness you being misgendered?”

Suggs personally would appreciate the following kinds of support:

  • Pause the conversation and make a quick correction. For example, “Sorry to interrupt, but Alex actually uses they/them pronouns.”
  • Pause the conversation and create a low stakes learning opportunity. For example, “Real quick, just wanted to check with you, Alex. Do you use they/them pronouns?”
  • If you don’t have a chance to pause the conversation, send a quick message to meeting participants. For example, “Just wanted to quickly name that Alex uses they/them pronouns in case folks on this call are unaware! Thanks!” Or follow up with the person who did the misgendering after a meeting or conversation.

4. Don’t use lactation rooms for non-lactation needs

Years ago, I remember learning that Travis Kalanick, then CEO of Uber, used the company’s lactation room to meditate. I was stunned that someone would so selfishly put his needs over someone else needing to use the room for its intended purpose.

Fast forward to today, and it may also be happening in other workplaces.

In a recent edition of Ask a Manager, someone wrote that “random non-lactating coworkers keep going in and locking the door to use the room on their regular breaks or to take hour-long lunches or sometimes for personal calls.” They added, “It’s multiple times a week, sometimes over several hours, that every time I go to access the room, someone is locked in there using the space for something other than pumping.”

First of all, don’t do this.

Secondly, consider how you can advocate for change if your workplace doesn’t limit access to lactation rooms (using key cards, for example) for only people who need to pump.

5. Amplify Voices

A few weeks ago I asked you to send me examples of actions you’ve taken after reading my newsletter, hearing me speak, or diving into one or more of my books. It was humbling and inspiring to receive the responses, and I can’t wait to share them with you. Here’s the first one:

“Thanks to your virtual fireside chat during the pandemic, and reinforced by your newsletter, I think about allyship in multiple contexts. Is there a silent voice I can invite to a conversation? Is there someone being spoken over who I can help give voice to? Is there someone’s idea who deserves credit where I can make sure they get the deserved credit? Each of these are small steps, but in totality, they make a difference.” — Todd Shechter

That’s all for this week. I wish you strength and safety as we all move forward.

— Karen Catlin (she/her), author of the Better Allies® book series

Copyright © 2024 Karen Catlin. All rights reserved.

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Everyday actions to create more inclusive, engaging workplaces: the Better Allies® approach from Karen Catlin.